The everyday of parenthood can be stressful and sometimes, just physically and mentally tiring. However, people have told me I am calmer than the usual mom of two. Perhaps it is because I am so sentimental. Perhaps it is because I lost my mother to cancer when I was in my 20s and realized that anything, anybody can be just gone at any time.
I think it is mostly because of this, I cherish the times I have with my family. Don't get me wrong. I have my moments too. However, I miss M if she doesn't come home for lunch or has an after school activity. I am always wondering what they are doing. I love trying to think like them and trying to figure out how they are processing this world.
One of my best friends has a nephew who has terminal cancer. He is only six. How horrible is that. He is only a child. I cannot imagine it. I was thinking of composing a song for him, and I have the words of his favorite things. However, when I sat down at the piano, just music came out. And the tears. I could not think of any lyrics other than "What do you say?" He is the bravest boy. Every time I talk to my friend, I am saddened. With all the science and medical advances out there, we cannot cure him. It's frustrating. Words cannot express the sorrow.
When I think of him and the many other children out there who have these illnesses, I am very grateful for our health. We have no problems. With the loss of my mother, I see her through my children's laughter and I give them extra hugs. With the news of this brave boy, I give them even more hugs and kisses. I am more patient. I want to spend more time with them. I want to see them grow. I want to see the sparkles in their eyes when they give me a picture they drew and are explaining it to me. I am deeply thankful and sincerely appreciative.